You move to a new country, to a new state or to a new part of the city. You immediately notice lots of new things about the culture and find the uniqueness of the culture fun, exciting, and charming. Maybe you already knew and liked certain things about the culture, you were excited about something new, and that’s why you made the move in the first place.
Then the honeymoon phase ends. What you once found pleasingly quirky you now find annoying. What was before merely a different pace of life is now highly inconvenient. Why do these people do things like this anyway? Don’t they ever get frustrated with living this way? There are obviously better ways to do things. How can they not see this? Eventually, you leave in great irritation, and retreat back to your old, comfortable culture, where they do things right.
If you’re a part of what we’re doing at Community of Hope, you may be experiencing something similar to this. We’re not the same kind of church most of us are accustomed to. You might have felt excited at the beginning, and inspired by the new possibilities. You heard that we were going to be doing things “differently” and that thought stirred something in you.
And now, here we are, several months down the road. Maybe you’re starting to feel the tension between what you’re used to, and what we’re doing now. We meet together three weeks (or more) out of the month in our groups, and have dinner together almost every time. That’s a lot for people in our culture, who usually have plenty of other things on their calendars. We keep talking about how our focus isn’t going to be on a building or a worship service, but most of us churchy types are accustomed to thinking that that’s the main way we get new people in to the church – build a great worship service and then advertise it. Maybe you’ve heard that the way we hope to make a difference in the world won’t be mainly through “outreach events,” but by you actually building deep relationships with your neighbors and co-workers, and that sounds not only intimidating, but even (if we’re honest) inconvenient. After all, I’m spending so much time meeting with my community group that I don’t have a lot of time left for my neighbor, once I add in my busy work / kid’s activities / TV watching schedule.
You may be experiencing other kinds of difficulties related to the new things we’re doing. Maybe as you’ve wrestled with the difficulties, you’ve found yourself wondering if doing things this way really is the best way to change the world. Maybe you’re thinking about how much nicer it might feel to just “go to church” and not have to give so much of yourselves.
We really do believe that these things – meeting together to form community, serving others, helping each other become more like Jesus – really are a better way to live. We really do believe that Jesus was speaking the truth when He said that if we want blessings in our life, then the best way to receive them is by giving more of ourselves. We’re actually going to take God up on His offer to be encountered not primarily at a worship gathering, but in community with each other, and especially with those who are in need and who don’t live like we do.
Sometimes people don’t respond to culture shock by leaving. Instead, they work through the difficulties and look for the good things that are to be found. Eventually, they adapt to the culture and learn to live like the locals. We’re hoping that this is how you’ll respond as well.
…but there’s a difference between acting like you’re a part of a culture and actually being a part of a culture. That will be the topic of the next post.
Questions:
Are you finding anything difficult about what we’re doing or what we will eventually be doing?
Have you ever found yourself questioning your involvement in this, or questioning the way we’re doing things?
We would love for you to leave comments, and to be honest. You’ll find you’re not alone!
I think the hardest part is the feeling that we are ending all of the great relationships we have formed with everyone we have gotten to know at St. Timothy. I know that being a part of COH doesn’t mean we have to cease any of the relationships we have built, but that will likely happen just as a matter of course. It is a big comfort seeing and talking to people you know, even if it may only be on Sunday.
On a slightly more lighthearted note, we got to experience a “mega” church a few weeks back. With the in-house coffee shop, bookstore, two-story indoor playground, and tropical fish tank I’ve got to say it didn’t seem all that bad. I assume they were reaching the lost just as, God willing, we will too. COH will be different, but the main question will be is it working.
I agree. It’s going to feel strange not regularly seeing lots of people I have come to know and love. And it’s interesting to think about the fact that – hopefully – in not too long, there will be a whole new group of people I’ll have come to know and love who I haven’t even met yet. When i read about missionaries or even people in the Bible leaving friends and family for the sake of reaching out, there’s always a part of me that thinks “I hope I never have to do that.” But this will be like that.
Wow – a 2 story playground!? That certainly is one way of being the church. All the research that I’ve read and heard spoken about says that, at least in America, the shift is away from small and medium sized churches toward two other models. The first and greatest shift is toward the smaller, more community oriented model. The second biggest shift is toward large churches. It’s easy want to group them all into the Osteen-esque category of merely preaching feel good messages and making it about us, but certainly not all large churches are doing that.
Also – regarding the question about whether or not it will work, that’s a huge question, and the huge answer is that it will only work if we all make it work. Since we won’t be relying on facilities or programs to draw people in, we’ll be relying on people reaching out. We think this has been our calling all along, and if we will actually reach out to our neighbors, co-workers, and the other people in our lives, then we will grow. Our model does shift much of the responsibility for doing the “reaching out” from the church staff and programming to the members, and that may be the biggest and most difficult shift for people to adapt to.
Just wanted to send some encouragement, Matt 19:29: “And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands, for my name’s sake, will receive a hundredfold and will inherit eternal life.”
“Leaving” friends to reach the lost will be rewarded through lives being transformed.
PREACH.
Thank you for the reminder.
Kent and I have not been a part of St. Timothy for long so for me it does not feel as if I am leaving friends and family behind. Actually most of the people we were close to are also in COH and we have formed an even closer bonds in this new venture. The only negative for me at this point is missing the type of worship found in a traditional church service (the piano, not the organ. ha!).
The sentence that stood out to me the most is “We really do believe that these things – meeting together to form community, serving others, helping each other become more like Jesus – really are a better way to live.” It’s a simple statement which I believe is true. So I’m ready and eager for the change in lifestyle. I relate it eating better for a healthier life….it’s hard at first but once you get a routine you’re happier, healthier and somehow find energy you didn’t know you had.
I’m so glad that you and your family are with us – and I don’t mean “with us” in a strategy sense, like a “you add to the critical mass that we need to succeed” sense. I mean it as friends. It’s difficult for Sonia and I as well, and having friends to support us and be in it with us is a huge comfort.
As a foodie, I can appreciate the comparison to eating better. Especially this time of the year 😉
Anything difficult? Any questioning? I have no idea what you’re talking about, Chris!! LOL
Oh, just DAILY! Here is what I have noticed. When I focus on myself, my abilities, my impact, my schedule, my “losses”, my feelings, my weakness or anything else having to do with me, I immediately experience frustration, disappointment, borderline depression and a strong desire to tuck tail and RUN! I am a 350 lb, 30 point buck with a broken leg and a HUGE target on my chest in November in Texas – easy prey for the enemy.
And there’s only one solution – and that is re-focusing myself on Jesus! I’ve had to do that a lot lately, because the enemy has been busy. But Jesus has continue to be, and will always be, faithful! I’m excited about what God will do through this!
Well if you’d follow Karissa’s advice about eating, maybe you wouldn’t be 350 pounds!
You’re right – when I focus on the work, the dynamics, and the “what if”s, it’s hard for me not to start to feel anxious. Focusing on Jesus keeps me on track – but I need your help to stay focused!
I think for Dan and I our greatest concern is keeping Luke engaged with CoH. Especially this being his first year at Trinity where there a re many children
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